HUB Movie Review: Escape Plan
Well, lookie who it is: the biggest body-builders turned movie stars are back together and as macho as ever (and may I say, somewhat old): Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger. But this time, they use weapons less and their brains more, in Escape Plan.
The film follows Stallone as Ray Breslin, who works as a professional prison escape artist, by testing whether prisons can hold and keep their inmates behind bars. Forever. Or for as long as their sentence holds.
Breslin is quite renowned, leading to an offer by the CIA, to try to escape from a top-secret prison. But when he does, he is actually put in the prison for real to make sure he never escapes, meaning he was double-crossed. Ouch.
Once in the prison, Stallone meets Schwarzenegger (man, it is a workout spelling out his name time and time again), playing a convict named Emil Rottmayer. They make a deal with each other: if Breslin helps Rottmayer get out, then Rottmayer won’t kill him. Macho, eh?
So these two, like I said, use their brains to try to outsmart the warden and the creepy guards with masks to find out first: where they are; two: the prison’s weaknesses; and three: why he (Breslin) is there in the first place. I’m telling you, the ending will (not) shock you!
This movie, with a fifty million dollar budget, brought in almost $10 million opening weekend, with a total gross of some $25 million. Metacritic hated it, but they always hate. Audience members gave it 7 out of 10 on IMDb, which isn’t bad. That’s the same rating Thor got, and Oblivion, Wedding Crashers, Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery and Rocky II. These are just references.
On the Penn State Scale...
1—when Penn State loses a game,
2—an 8 a.m class (which are awful),
3—a canceled 8 a.m class,
4— free textbooks,
and 5—free Creamery ice cream for a whole year,
This movie is a nice 3.2 (I thought I’d be nice and add .2 to its 3). Sure, it is nice to see these actors actually act well, and a movie with some cool sets, and lots of fighting (so masculine), but the plot has some downsides. For one SPOILER ALERT
Breslin doesn’t even escape from the prison, called “The Tomb,” all by himself. That’s a black mark on his profession. I wouldn’t hire him after that. But hey, I suppose friends, who help you escape, are good to have.
So a 3.2 it is. I guess we should be glad Schwarzenegger isn’t Governor or California anymore, otherwise he would not be able to make these “great” movies. (Take him back, Cali!)
Oh, by the way, guess who decided to act as well: 50 Cent!
Unlike a prison, I bet it is quite easy to escape from a movie theater, should you be disappointed.
Sofia Westin is a freshman majoring in broadcast journalism. To contact her, email firstname.lastname@example.org.